Sunday, March 30, 2014
Ah...........you don't want to read this
-Now, the point of all of this is not to get you to feel sorry for me. It's not for pity, not for attention, not for anything of that sort. I just felt that it was time to explain the reason that I disappear from time to time. There's times where I just CAN'T function in social settings. And believe me, I've tried to "suck it up" and go to these things, but it never really works.
-I hate to say this, because it's SO cliched, but unless you suffer from this, I don't think you can understand it. Sure, we all get sad or "depressed" from time to time, but usually that feeling passes after time or you do something to get your mind off of things for a little while, but when you have chronic depression, even on the BEST days, there's a constant state of "Hey, today's pretty good, but things still suck."
-You're probably thinking "Well, if your life sucks, then change it", I really wish it were that easy. Some days it takes everything that I can do to get out of bed in the morning. It's much easier to just maintain the status quo, then to even THINK about doing something that might make things worse. Even if the change I'm making is going to make my life BETTER, I'm too afraid that it might backfire and make things worse.
-What is the point of all of this? Shit, I don't know. But, what I DO know is that I've been having these problems off and on since 2008, and the last year has been REALLY REALLY bad, and I'm really sick and tired of it. REALLY. SICK. AND. TIRED. So, I'm going to do something about it. What, you ask? I have no freaking clue. But, I've got to do something. Whether it's talk to a doctor, a therapist, punch big frozen sides of beef, cry until my eyes fall out, it doesn't matter, I've just got to get my mind and body right so that I can get on with my life.
-So, I'll be going on some self imposed "quiet time" and figure some things out. I'll still be around, I'll ALWAYS be at Challengers every Wednesday, I'll still be reviewing comics for Geeks of Doom, and for Challengers. I just won't be doing as much tweeting and promoting and blogging (not that I do this regularly anyway)until I've gotten things figured out. Until I get back to my old self. If you've stuck around this long and haven't given up on reading this, thank you. You deserve a reward. Here it is. It's one of my all time favorites, and I watch it whenever I can...
PS-You guys, my friends, are seriously all awesome. And I love each and every one of you. For real.